3 Types of Strong Opinion
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
You didn’t really intend to, but you did it again - you scrolled through the comment section of a post on the internet. Now you feel a bit…off.
“How is this <the liberal/the republican/western imperialism/capitalism/etc.>’s fault too?” you wonder, trying to get your legs back after the rollercoaster of comments on a video of a cat stuck in a cardboard box.
The internet, where people can express themselves forcefully without face-to-face confrontation, is rife with strong opinions. This volume of available sample data allows us to categorize strong opinions and why people have them.
Strong opinions boil down to three intentions:
To make the speaker feel bigger/more important
To make the listener feel smaller/shamed
To convey learned expertise and provide genuine advice
Making the Speaker Feel Bigger
This type of strong opinion is the most common. Sometimes, we puff out our proverbial chests to appear more knowledgeable or influential in moments of insecurity or fear; ironically, this can quickly achieve the opposite effect.
Have you ever asked for advice, and the response seemed to address a different question entirely?
You: “I’m not sure whether to engage businesses or consumers directly.”
Them: “I don’t like working with customers - I just focus on the product.”
You: “...right.”
At best, this reaction feels like the person is simply not listening. Another possibility, however, is that the person feels like they have nothing to offer, so they sidestep the question and move back into their comfort zone. This behavior gives the appearance of contributing to the topic at hand while quietly avoiding the meat of the subject.
These opinions usually come with generalizations that feel too broad, using words like “always” and “never,” disregarding any nuance.
Consider the following statements:
VCs never invest in companies with four or more founders
I always avoid chiropractors
Good software UX never involves more than three clicks
Even if the speaker has a good reason for their beliefs, the lack of context makes any opinion suspicious, and the desired appearance of expertise slips away.
A recent LinkedIn post from the EU Commission stated support for Ukraine and pushed for ongoing respect of sovereign nations. One commenter noted all wars are bad and should not happen, which may be a good ideal, but it is also not helpful to those experiencing war or invasion. It’s like seeing a house fire and commenting that houses really should not be on fire - it’s true, but also the house is currently on fire, which is a more time-sensitive issue.
Hearing this kind of strong opinion can make us feel like the person is not being genuine with us or doesn’t know what they are saying. When challenged even a small amount, these beliefs tend to either fall over or create intense defensiveness in the speaker. This can lead to the following type of strong opinion.
Making the Listener Feel Smaller
This is a toxic type of strong opinion, where the speaker is looking to quash other opinions or feel more important by making others feel less so. These opinions inevitably convey pointed judgment, shame, and outright dismissal rather than actually engaging on the topic at hand.
Consider explaining your new idea to someone and getting a response like:
That will never work. (Dismissal with no explanation)
That’s a stupid idea. (Dismissal plus veiled personal insult)
I would never do that. (Dismissal plus a reminder that they want to feel more intelligent than you)
You need to set your sights lower. (Dismissal plus an implication that you think too highly of yourself and they are happy to bring you back down)
This type of strong opinion often relies on “whataboutism” and other deflection/propaganda techniques to not only avoid the topic at hand but actively denigrate contrasting views as well.
On the same LinkedIn post about Ukraine, another commenter wrote a small essay (already a red flag) about how Russian aggression was the natural consequence of western/NATO colonialism, and any blood spilled would be on the hands of the west. This argument aims to put others on the defense about a seemingly relevant topic, while again sidestepping the core topic of the post.
This is like seeing an arsonist light a house on fire then letting everyone know they really shouldn’t build houses with flammable materials…what did they expect?
When a speaker looks to make themselves bigger, the listener becomes guarded; when they seek to make us look smaller, we feel condescended to, defensive, judged, and ready to write them off entirely.
Sharing Genuine Expertise
This is the rarest form of strong opinion - actual expertise shared in a helpful manner.
When we reach out for advice and get a genuine response, we feel it immediately. A genuine interaction builds trust and respect regardless of the person agreeing with us (or us agreeing with them).
On the same LinkedIn post, another commenter left a more heartfelt note about the worry and heartbreak of watching his wife’s birthplace bombed. He also noted that 52 Russian cities had seen protests in the first days of the invasion alone, and that people are not the same as the government of their country. Expressing sympathy for the individuals who will suffer on both sides, the comment delivers a stronger case for peace than the previous examples.
A genuine opinion based on learned expertise contains nuance. A person with earned expertise doesn’t feel insecure disagreeing with others. They do not need to belittle other opinions. They can explain why they feel the way they do and accurately decide how much of their experience fits the current context. Genuine strong opinions recognize their own limits and allow for different experiences without threat.
Because these opinions do not convey defensiveness, they are less likely to create defensiveness in response. Because they take context into account, they do not feel disconnected or abrupt; they add to the conversation rather than changing direction entirely.
We have all expressed opinions in all three categories, but sometimes we do so without conscious choice. Knowing what we say and how it impacts the receiver gives us a leg up in creating effective communication and an advantage in persuading others to our cause.