The Endless Journey of Success

We laud goals as an ultimate ingredient in success. Successful people achieve their goals. They set big goals. They pursue their goals. They leave no stone unturned in their voracious pursuit of goals. They are goal-oriented goal-machines. They would clearly sign up to be goalies if goalies weren’t supposed to prevent GOALS. 

There is one major flaw in conflating goals with success, however. Goals are finite, but success is ongoing.

Maybe we are primed to believe we can achieve success like checking a box off our list because of childhood stories that end in a “happily ever after.” Or maybe our obsession with goals and awards leads us to believe goals are success and success is binary - we don’t have it until we do (and then we have it forever). You are a struggling actor until you win an Oscar, then you’re a successful actor.

Have you ever sat in a bar and seen some guy in the corner happily staring at the wall over his beer? 

“What’s his deal?” you whisper to the bartender

“Oh, him?” they reply. “He’s successful. Achieved it at 30, and it’s been smooth sailing ever since.”

The situation seems ridiculous because it is. We know that’s not how it works, but it’s a “knowing” like “knowing” we are all going to die one day - we know the truth, but we rarely act like it. 

Hold on, you might be thinking, so NO goals?? Not even chasing success?! Are you insane? You must just want to stay in one place and pretend to be content with your mediocre life, loser.

Goals can be incredibly motivating when applied carefully, and the critical mantra to prevent beneficial goals from becoming destructive is simple: there is no finish line.

What it means to have no finish line

If there’s no finish line, what are we all doing here? And what about all the successful people who have crossed that finish line?

With the onset of the 2022 Winter Olympic games, we have an easy reference point to say, “Goals are important! Look at what they accomplished! And they are all so young!”

Consider the story of Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympian of all time, who has openly discussed his struggles with depression throughout and after his career.

When he edged out a gold medal victory by 1/100th of a second, did he vanish into a cloud of happiness and success? No. He celebrated, got out of the pool, dried off, and got ready for the next event. Before and after the games, he struggled with depression and anxiety.

It’s important to keep the larger context in mind when we think about what to do, what is success, and what we should pursue. Life happens before, between, and after all the little moments of victory and loss we experience, and we should be careful not to chase success with the assumption that it will fulfill us by itself.

Symptoms of Finish Line Thinking

How can we tell if we are working towards an imaginary finish line or something more sustainable? There are critical warning signs:

• You often think, “I’ll be happy when <X> happens.”

• You feel lost after achieving a goal

• The idea of setting a new target feels exhausting

• Wondering, “Is this all there is?”

If it has not already started, these thoughts tend to mark the road to burnout.

What To Do Instead

It may feel demotivating to think there are no finish lines or that goals can lead to burnout rather than success, but there are ways to change the cycle.

At the base level, we should evaluate our goals to determine which we are pursuing under the guise of a “happy ever after” versus those that help keep us motivated towards higher aims. Enjoying the progress rather than only the results builds more substantial outcomes more sustainably.

It’s important to keep an eye on the larger context of our lives - professional and personal ambitions are only threads in the broader tapestry of life. We should be careful to consider how any ambition plays into the bigger picture, both in what we hope to achieve and what it will cost to the other threads along the way. Considering our life’s ecology allows us to make more nuanced decisions about what we pursue and how we pursue it. Additionally, expanding our perspective can remind us to pace ourselves rather than burn out.

In the largest context, consider the context of life at a global level. The road of life ran before we were on it and will run on after. What needles would you like to move along the way? What direction would you like to push the world? 

There is freedom in realizing success is not a pursuit with a finish line.