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Stop Calling It “Real” Work

Busting the myths we use to rank our work

**This article is part 1 of a 3 part series on “Real” Work - for a longer conversation on this topic, check out this episode of Uncover the Human - a Siamo Podcast


I need time to get something real done.

This common refrain reflects a pervasive, often detrimental value framework we use to prioritize our time – doing “real” work vs wasting time.

We use it to evaluate our own work (“Finally finished writing those emails, now I can get some real work done”), to rank the value of different departments (“The marketing team just chats all day, we engineers are doing the ­actual­ work”), and to judge the worth of entire professions (“Bankers just move money around, farmers ­grow real food” or “Business people just sit in meetings getting nothing done, doctors are saving lives”).

In effect, assessing what is "real" work does less to create useful prioritization and more to create a quick hit of guilt or superiority.

Jobs require communication (often through email), engineering teams rely on marketing teams and vice versa, and the economy relies on all professions - and everyone depends on the economy. Even activities we define as “fun” in direct opposition to “work” are necessary to keep our brains happy and engaged.

Determining what is “real” work and what is a poor use of time is – perhaps ironically – a poor use of time. To undo this framing, we have to find the roots.

This series will explore 3 main myths we use to determine "real" work.

Myth #1 – “Real” Work = Value

We easily judge "real" work as providing value. Conversely, anything not providing value is not "real" work.

This thought begs the question: what determines value? Is it monetary cost? Monetary reward? Time spent? Engagement? Progress towards a larger goal?

This is a trick question, as value does not exist on any one given axis, and it will change over time. We notice this every time we are faced with a difficult decision like a career change – there’s never only one consideration. We weigh the different salaries, commute times, what will help our careers most, what provides more flexibility, etc. The "value" we are looking to achieve is a combination of values within the larger ecosystem of our lives. Any given value impacts everything around it.

Once we have a better idea of the combination of values we are seeking, we enter the next dilemma in assigning “real” work as the only valuable work – how do we best pursue this value?

Imagine studying for a big test. You need the test to provide a desired certification that will push you towards certain career aspirations, so you know the value it will provide. You estimate it will take 16 hours to go through the study book you’ve purchased, now how do you allocate those hours? Start at exactly 16 hours before you take the test? Break it into 2 days? It can be easy to decide that studying is real work, but if we want to get the desired value out of it, we must consider the most effective schedule and methods to absorb the information, including finding times with no distractions and times to take breaks.

How to Confront this Myth

Identify the source of the voice

Sometimes the voice in our heads shouting that something is not valuable is not our opinion, but something we are carrying from another source.

It could be an employer (current or previous), our parents, a friend, social media posts from people we admire, or any one of a thousand guilt trips promoted by hustle culture. When a guilting voice originates outside of ourselves, it is a good practice to assess whether we need to learn something from the voice or not. Perhaps we are acting outside of our personal values and the voice is a necessary reminder to course-correct. This is less likely when the value is coming from external sources, however, and if it does not resonate with our true selves, it's best to let the voice go.

One quick way to notice whether our motivations are internal or not is by watching the language we use. Anytime we use the word “should,” we are likely projecting feelings from others rather than ourselves. “Well, I really should be learning about marketing” is a very different sentiment than “I want to know more about marketing to grow my business.”

Another semantic tick is when we project our feelings against an ambiguous “other” rather than ourselves. Saying “a real entrepreneur would sit at their desk for 8 hours at least every day” is an external pressure, whereas a more self-directed motivation might sound like “I would like to figure out our quarterly budget today.”

Internal motivation stems from internal desire, and thus will always be a better match for finding personal value than pursing something we have been told to chase.

Know your Why

Borrowing Simon Sinek’s thesis on starting with “why,” we can effectively pursue value when we identify what is valuable for ourselves. If we are deliberate in choosing our work to align with our purpose, and we are honest with ourselves about what we need in this moment, we gain the opportunity to practice our autonomy and effectively focus our energy.

Knowing why we are doing something allows us to choose the work we do to match our purpose. We can apply this type of deliberation in choosing which tasks to prioritize inside and outside of work, helping to detangle and focus on one important task at a time. If we are honest with our needs, we may find that taking a 20 minute nap is more important than pushing through a task while propping our eyes open. We may find skipping a ski weekend to concentrate of developing a business model is the right choice. When we accept that there is no universally right or wrong choice, we enter the murkier but more rewarding path of having to choose for ourselves.

Knowing our why is crucial to working under this framework. Keeping our purpose at the front-of-mind also provides clarity on what opportunities to say “no” to without guilt. We also become less susceptible to criticism (both external and internal) because we easily answer for our decisions when we can tie them to a cause.

When we assess our work based on what creates value, we must maintain a firm understanding of what value truly means to us. Without this definition, we become burdened with ambiguous guilt for not being valuable with no specific ideas to improve our situation.

On the flip side, we can actively and efficiently pursue real value if we know our definition of it.


**Check in on parts 2 & 3 in the coming weeks, or subscribe to the
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